The True Values Of Friendship

Since I have gotten older, I have been organizing what is really important to me. Material things are okay. They are fun, but it does not define who I really am. Those goods will last you for so long, and then they leave you.

I truly believe in karma. I hold this to be true through my personal experiences in life. I hold strong that what you say and what you do does come back at you many times. When you do good for people, you are rewarded with good luck and vice verse.

What truly defines my soul in particular are the friendships I have made. I take my relationships very seriously. I always have, and I always will. I need good friends. In a way, they keep me sane in this messed-up world. They are my second family. They are like my siblings. Life is worthless without them. But there is more to friendship than just shared interests. The things two people have in common are just what brings them together. There is a morality to friendship. There is a code of honor that must not be broken, no matter what. These virtues that I am about to share I  have learned through the course of my forty-one plus years of existence.

There must be loyalty -- no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Without loyalty, there is no bond between two persons. A promise kept is the best example. It is a real virtue that has been overlooked and lost in this day and age. This virtue needs to be taught again to each successive generation.  You won’t learn this on Facebook or MySpace. It has to be experienced face-to-face in the real world. Without loyalty, there is no trust. Trust is needed to strengthen the bond. Actions to keep promises prove that you can depend on that person through thick and thin, earning trust. Trust is the notary stamp on the friendship. It is just as important, just as much as loyalty. They go hand-in-hand. One cannot exist without the other, like the yin and yang symbol of the Taoists.

There are other virtues that go with friendship, but I hold these two the closest to my heart. They have shaped my friendships the most. I know all too well about fake friends that lack trust and loyalty. They break your heart the most and scar you forever. I have had too many relationships like that, and I never forget them. I look at them as part of the learning experience. They help me separate the good from the bad.

These two virtues are universal. They transcend religious beliefs and psychological theories. It is neither Buddhist nor Freudian. It comes straight from the core of your heart and soul. They dig so deep into you that it cannot be measured. When those virtues are broken, the pain is excruciating. They never heal; they scar. They stay on you like a tattoo on your skin. You can try to have it removed or covered with a new one. Nonetheless, the old marks will remain from where it used to be.

Bear my words in mind the next time you meet someone new. Hold those virtues close to you at all times. They help you sort out the angels from the demons. Loyalty and trust will always protect you from a broken heart. I guarantee it. I know. I have been through it many times over a long, long time.