"The End Is Near...er Than It Was In 2011"

How’s that for a safe prediction?  Last year saw the cancellation of the end of the world on May 21st, and its rescheduled October 21st date came and went without a deluge of firestones or Godzilla bursting out of the earth’s crust. It was just plain…old…wet – compliments of La Niña. So what can we look forward to in 2012? Brace yourself for more of the same, says the Farmer’s Almanac – at least through the winter – and that means snow, lots of it. Enjoy every flake, as the end date of all end dates approaches - this one sure to relieve you of next year’s Christmas shopping madness! The Mayan calendar ends its cycle on December 21st, and we all know what that means…

Essentially, nothing, say the experts (save for a smattering of early Festivus celebrations). In fact, many of our holiday decorating practices date back to Yuletide traditions centered around December 21st “…when the dark half of the year relinquishes to the light half…” says Akasha on her website: “The Winter Solstice – Yule Lore.”  The Yule log, typically from an elm tree, “…was doused in cider or ale, dusted with flour” then lit and let burn through the night. The log was then left smoldering for twelve days (the twelve days of Christmas?). Holly, ivy, and evergreens were used to adorn the woodwork, just as we do today. Many cultures celebrated the solstice night and marked time by beginning their new year with the next cycle of the sun as it rose the next morning.

That harmless elements of a pagan practice assimilated into our largely Judeo-Christian culture (yet still evolving), is not surprising when it boils down to little more than household decor and log-burning. But what if it were to divert the populace away from the solemnity of the birth of Christ or distract from Hanukkah observance, as an end-time scare may be apt to do? As if the over-commercialization of Christmas weren't bad enough! Though it’s not pagan to consider that the world might end -- most Christian faiths Biblically refer to it quite often -- indeed, the Advent season is about this time coming to an end and the birth of another season beginning with Christ. And now for my second prediction: prepare to hear this phrase uttered frequently in the upcoming months (if you haven’t already) “No one knows the day or the hour.”

As for the Mayans - it would have been logical to end their year on December 21st – albeit in our time. They may have reasoned that it was far enough into the future  that whoever was still alive by then would either continue the calendar they had begun, or would have devised a better one.

And we have - it’s called the Gregorian calendar. Our civilization has been using it since 1582, and it has worked quite well with one minor glitch – every four years we have to add a day. And so, on with the future, for that is precisely the reason calendars were invented in the first place – to plan.

Yes , this is also a leap year, and the town of Anthony, Texas will NOT be hosting its four-day Leap Year festival – something it was famous for around the globe since 1988. (Apparently, folks born on February 29th are willing to whoop it up big!) It’s up for grabs for any municipality to get on the map, and Parma has ample hotel accommodations within a stone’s throw. Just something we might want to consider for 2016.

But what about this year? If a window into politics appears like an ever-changing ‘collide-o-scope’ of partisan pooey, don’t let it keep you from voting in the primary this March 6th. In the words of the late, great drama critic, George Jean Nathan: “Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.” The deadline for registration for the primary is February 6th.  Also, the day of a primary election is the ONLY time that you can change political parties, if you are considering doing so. Simply fill out the form at your polling location BEFORE you vote. You will have to call the Board of Elections (216) 443-3200 for the form, to be sent with your mail application if voting by mail.

Later on in the spring, for those tired of Parma looking like a flood-ravaged prairie town stream-lined with telephone poles, consider planting a tree on your “devil’s strip.”  City Hall has the free permits and a list of tree types that are acceptable. Check out our neighboring cities’ pear trees when they blossom this May. We might well be the last hold-out in the Forest City!

But why plant a tree, you say, when hail the size of basketballs is imminent? Doomsday prophecies are a procrastinator’s playground and this is not the first Dec. 21st end-of-the-world prediction. Another one in 1955 had a small following and was studied by psychologists advancing the field with their research in cognitive dissonance. In short, those that invested most in the doomsday belief fell the hardest when the prophecy failed. The psychologists, needless to say, made a lot of money off of the book (Lean Festinger, “When Prophecy Fails, 1956). 

And now for my third and final prediction: Considering the build-up, even more psychologists will be making money off of this end-of-the-world projection!