Caregiver's Kitchen: Hats Off To Dad, True Fighting Irish

Thank you for the many inquiries about Dad over the last two months. Some things are too painful to write about yet. Let me tell you now about Dad’s indomitable spirit. Dad was a fighter. True fighting Irish. During the days that followed his hip replacement surgery, he fought to recover. A post-operative case of pneumonia settled deep in one lung, and he kept fighting. Then, weak from pneumonia and worn down by pain, at some point the battle became overwhelming. Something inexplicable had changed. Lapsing into unconsciousness, his body stopped responding. We prayed, we hoped, we sought expert opinions. We called in our longtime family physician, who concurred with the hospital doctors. With a somber voice, he intoned that there was nothing else that could be done. He recommended hospice.

We knew of a wonderful woman at Holy Family Hospice, Karen Salway, who is a generous soul and compassionate comforter of the bereaved. She had become a friend of mine through a musician we both knew, and invited me for lunch at the hospice about a year ago. The food was good old-fashioned homemade quality. Tasty. Nothing like hospital food. I hid my amazement. We walked through the halls. The peace and sense of blessing were palpable. Those residing there were engaged in various activities. I heard happy voices laughing. I saw visitors smiling. I felt a spirit of wellness in the air. Transcending acceptance of Divine Providence pervaded the atmosphere. There were warm embraces, tender last goodbyes, and sorrow mixed with a relieved peace when a loved one was called heavenward. Whether days, weeks or months remained, the dignity and sanctity of human life was celebrated in quiet care.

There is usually a waiting list for this rare place. God blessed us in providing a bed for Dad. Within one day of arriving at Holy Family, Dad was breathing easier, his face was no longer contorted in pain, his hands eased their viselike grip. The nurses helped him rest comfortably with oxygen and pain medication. Nurse aides gently bathed him, groomed his hair and shaved his stubble, and tenderly applied ointments and creams to reverse the breakdown of the skin from months-old bedsores. The staff’s attentiveness to Dad and to us was heartwarming. As a family, we were grateful.

At such a time, there are many questions the family has regarding their loved one. Nurses Paul, Cheri, Nick, supervisor Joe, and others, all spent much time explaining Dad’s condition, answering our concerns, never impatient or dismissive. Karen came by after work frequently, bringing food and relaxing conversation to cheer us while we kept watch with Dad. Sister Margaret Mary stopped by numerous times to check on us and to pray for Dad.  She knew that Dad was a proud Irish-American, and gave him a handmade rosary blessed in Ireland. The brogue in her voice lilted when she spoke, making her words sing. Father Simon also came daily to see how we were doing. He gave Dad the blessing of the sick not long after Dad arrived. Dad noticeably improved.  Despite a prognosis of 24 to 48 hours, Dad lived for nine more days at Holy Family. I believe he felt comforted there by the heritage of his faith. The atmosphere of prayer which surrounded him made his last days the most healing. Dad was unconscious but drawing breath steadily. In my mind, I liked to think he was enjoying a long nap, one of his favorite pastimes. But I’m sure that in this environment of holy service, Dad was taking care of unfinished business and giving us all a chance to say goodbye.

Dad is gone now. The Lord called him home at his appointed time. He slipped away peacefully in the middle of the night while the world was asleep, except for the two nurses who were anointing his skin and giving him pain medication. I can’t help but be happy for him, reunited with Mom and the family members who have gone before him. Most importantly, he is reunited with God. “Faith of our fathers, living still…We will be true to Thee ‘til death.”

After taking Dad to his final resting place beside Mom at Holy Cross Cemetery, the Noonan clan gathered for a family meal. Comfort food fought off the chill of a midwinter day. Here are some trustworthy recipes of mine.

Fettucini Alfredo with Sherried Chicken

Boil 1/2 pound of pasta in boiling water with a pinch of salt. Cook to desired al dente doneness, about 10 minutes. While pasta is cooking, pound two chicken breasts thin with a wine bottle or the smooth side of a meat mallet. Sear chicken in a hot pan. Season chicken while cooking with a pinch of smoked paprika. Throw in a cup of green grapes. Make a small cut in center of breasts at thickest place to check for doneness. Chicken is done when no pink remains. Place breasts on a plate and deglaze pan with a splash of sherry (about 1/4 cup). When pasta is done, drain and add 1 stick of unsalted butter, stirring to melt. Add 1 wedge of fresh-grated parmesan cheese (about 8 oz.) and rest of pint of cream. Grate fresh nutmeg over pasta and place in serving bowl. Pour sherried grape sauce over chicken. Enjoy. Serve with your favorite green vegetable, or

Laura’s Sugar Snap Peas in Lemon Butter Sauce

Steam fresh or frozen sugar snap peas in metal steamer basket over ½ inch of water in covered saucepan, only until bright green (about 2 minutes). Place in large bowl with 2 tablespoons butter and squeeze ½ a fresh lemon over vegetables. Season with salt and pepper or Jane’s Krazy Mixed-Up Salt. Stir to combine. Serve immediately.

Mom’s Chocolate Cornstarch Pudding

The most comforting stuff you can eat. Stir 2/3 cup sugar, ¼ cup cornstarch, and 3 tablespoons cocoa powder (Nestle’s or Droste, if you can get it), and a pinch of salt in a large saucepan. Stir in a little bit of 2 ¾ cups milk to make a paste, whisking to thoroughly combine. Turn on heat to medium and gradually whisk in rest  of milk. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly while singing, “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.” Boil for 1 minute. Remove from heat and stir in 2 tablespoons butter, which makes it suave and satiny. Spoon up into a mug & eat it hot. Sing praises to God for all good things. Smile over sweet memories of loved ones. Thank you for reading the Parma Observer, and send your comments, questions, or suggestions for future columns to alzheimerannie@yahoo.com regarding home care for your loved ones.